i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
