I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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