you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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