dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
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