I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
