Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
