Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
