Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I'm too high and old for this...
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
