Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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