He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
