New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
