flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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