Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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