Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I supernannyed him into submission
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
