Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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