i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
