S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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