oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
