If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Banned from zoo.
Again?
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Randomize
