hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize