oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
