Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
