The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
