If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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