She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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