STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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