Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
