Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Randomize
