Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Randomize
