mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Randomize
