Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
