i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
