you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
