he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
it was like eating out sand paper
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
