I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
