It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
