Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
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