walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
