I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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