ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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