Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Randomize
