Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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