a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
