i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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