just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
