when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Randomize
