Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
