i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
