You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
