i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
How does it feel to date your dad?
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
