Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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