Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
