You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Randomize
