I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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