no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
