Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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