Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
