so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize