I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
