i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
