i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize