Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
