ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize